Harp and Story

When God Became Real Chapter 1continued

When God Became Real continued…
One morning after a particularly painful night I was cleaning the breakfast dishes off the table when suddenly my hands lost their grip on the dishes I was carrying to the sink; left-over scraps of food along with bowls and cups with remnants of milk spilled all over the floor. I collapsed over a chair surveying the mess on the floor, the tears coming with wild abandon, I couldn’t take it anymore, I had come to the end of my rope and there didn’t seem to be a knot to hang on to. In a very firm and frightful voice, right in the middle of that mess, I told God to get out of my life, to leave me alone and never come back. And He did. I literally felt His presence, His breath, His life-force leave my body. We are all alive only because the breath of God lives in us, when His breath leaves we are dead. Be an atheist if you want, like the truth or not, it is what it is, we live, we breath, we have our being because an entity greater than ourselves sustains us with His life force; that entity is God or as I now call Him, YHVH-Yahovah.

Awhile back my husband and I were driving on an interstate in southern California and we came upon an accident that had just happened. A minivan was still spinning from the impact of being hit by a semi-tractor trailer. The first detail my eyes took in was the limp rag-doll body hanging half-way out the driver’s side window. I could instantly tell there was no life in that body, the breath was gone; that person was dead. After I physically felt God’s life-force leave my body that is what I felt like, a limp, rag-doll, body. I was a walking dead person. 24 hours I remained in this miserable state of distress. It is one thing to be in almost constant pain, but have the life-force of YHVH living in you and quite another to be living in the same amount of pain and distress, and be dead, but not dead.

After everyone was gone the next morning, the house was quiet and I was alone, I, in utter desperation fell on my knees beside my bed and begged my Heavenly Father to come back. “I don’t care if you take the pain away or not, I can’t stand this empty, void inside of me, I need you to come back. Please forgive me for ever asking you to leave. I cannot live without you.” And as quickly as YHVH had left His life-force returned. As I had physically felt Him leave so I also physically felt Him return. Suddenly the colors were brighter, for I had spent the last 24 hours in gray tones, a peace settled over me and I just knew that everything was going to be alright, God was in control and for whatever purpose I was suffering it would have a good outcome, but all in His timing. I was still in pain, but my world had changed, God was becoming real.

A few weeks later my mother asked me if I wanted to take a rug braiding class with her. Knowing my mother, that she really wanted to take the class, but would not unless I agreed to go with her, I consented to take the class. The class demanded a lot from my hands; we had to tear long strips of wool fabric for the braids and then had to firmly hold the wool strips while twisting them to make a nice tight braid. Then we sewed the braided lengths into an oval shaped rug. I could work at this for short bursts at a time with rests interspersed, but I paid for every class by spending endless, sleepless hours tossing and turning, struggling to remind myself that I was honoring my mother. About half-way through the class a friend invited my husband and I to a Terry Talbot concert being held at a local church. I had never heard of Terry Talbot, but the concert sounded interesting so we decided to accept the invitation. At the last minute my husband had an emergency call that required him to go back to the hospital and my friend that had extended the initial invitation called to let me know that something had come up and she wouldn’t be able to make it either. I decided to go alone. The concert wasn’t at my church, I didn’t know anyone who was going, but there was a compelling in me to go, so I went, not really knowing what to expect.

I sat near the back of the church, no one came to sit near me, no one even said Hello; I watched as people came in and crowded close to the front, they were expecting something, that was plain to see; I just waited not knowing what to expect. Presently Terry came out and began to sing. I was captivated by the messages in his songs, especially I Am He ( listen and watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKhsyMSxBPo). Tears were involuntarily falling down my face as I realized God was speaking through this song to me. Terry finished singing and without missing a beat he said, the Holy Spirit is here to heal and deliver, let’s spend some time singing in the Spirit. At once the room erupted in glorious melody, everyone was singing something different, but it was somehow harmonious, I had never heard anything like it before. I am sure the angels were singing with us. Then Terry said, if you have a prayer need just raise your hand and the rest of you, if you are around someone whose hand is raised put your hand on them and pray for them. God is here.

I raised my hand, I had a need. Immediately I felt a heavy hand land on my right shoulder and I heard a man’s voice begin to pray for me. As the words left his mouth I felt a bolt of lightning shoot through my shoulder and I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had been healed of Thoracic Outlet Syndrome! I hope someday to meet that man who prayed for me so I can thank him for his obedience; I was too timid to express my gratitude to him that evening. The rest of the concert passed as a dream, I was there, but not there, instead somewhere in the heavens rejoicing with the angels was more what it felt like. I couldn’t wait to tell my husband, (this was before we had cell phones!) For the first time in a decade I was able to sleep through the night comfortably. Hallelujah!

My healing was real not just the passing emotionalism of a high spiritual experience. It’s been almost 25 years since that evening and not once have I ever had to suffer with the painful infirmity called Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. God was revealing Himself to me in ways I could only imagine and this was just the beginning!

Go to https://harpandstory.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/when-god-became-real/ for the first part of this story.

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